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12 weeks – Shads’ Story

ShadsMorning, 23/4/18:

It’s 12 weeks today… I am so nervous..
I canNOT Wait! To see my baby on the screen. I need to pay for extra photos to give to my mum and dad and I can’t wait to see the 3D image. I can’t believe I’ve made it to 3 months already; Time has flown- the different emotions we’ve been through from acceptance, fear to excitement. We can’t wait to meet you..

Afternoon, 23/4/18:

It doesn’t even make sense, I’ve been feeling sick, I’ve been having cravings, my belly…my belly looked as if it was getting bigger…
What does she mean my baby’s heart stopped beating 3 weeks ago..?
I don’t understand, I don’t want to understand. This has to be a bad dream but the more I sink my nails into my skin the more it hurts…

The spreadsheets, the baby shower, my aspirations as a mother, the extra curricular activities I couldn’t wait to introduce my unborn child too… my new best friend….taken away in a second.

It feels as though my world has stopped..

A Poem For My Baby

How very softly
You tiptoed into my world.

Almost silently,
Only a moment you stayed.

But what an imprint
your footsteps have left
upon my heart.

Little Footprints, Dorothy Ferguson

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